It's here - the answer to all our prayers... now you too can become an instant billionaire and participate in the hyperinflation currently plaguing zimbabwe.  Who knows, buy enough and you just might be able to afford a loaf of bread.  The auctions below are offered at eBay and provide a great way to add to any currency collection or store away a piece of history.

US Auctions Australian Auctions Austrian Auctions Belgian Auctions Canadian Auctions French Auctions German Auctions Hong Kong Auctions Indian Auctions Irish Auctions Italian Auctions Dutch Auctions Polish Auctions Singapore Auctions Spanish Auctions Swiss Auctions UK Auctions

Best Match Time: ending soonest Time: newly listed Price: lowest first Price: highest first Price + Shipping: lowest first Price + Shipping: highest first

ZIMBABWE $100 Billion Dollar NOTE UNCAACons    US $7.53

ZIMBABWE $50 Billion Dollar NOTE UNCAECons Free Ship    US $3.25

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars USA Seller Must See    US $5.50

$100 Billion Dollars Zimbabwe Bank Note USA Seller    US $2.06

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars USA Seller Must See    US $4.10

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars Bank Note USA Seller    US $2.25

5 x 100 Billion Dollar Zimbabwe Bank Notes USA Seller    US $8.50

ZIMBABWE NEW $10 000 Dollar NoteAAUNC Free Shipping    US $7.38

ZIMBABWE NEW $50 000 Dollar NoteAAUNC Free Shipping    US $1.93

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars USA Seller Must See    US $1.00

Zimbabwe 1000 1000 Dollars 2007 2008 UNC NEW    US $8.90

Zimbabwe 1 Dollar 2007 2008 UNC NEW AA Prefix    US $2.99

Zimbabwe 5 Dollars 2007 2008 UNC NEW    US $3.90

Zimbabwe 5 Billion Dollars 2008 UNC NEW    US $6.90

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars Out of print LOOK    US $1.05

Zimbabwe 500000000 Dollars 2008 500 Million UNC    US $4.75

$100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars Uncirculated USA Seller    US $.99

Zimbabwe $100B One Hundred Billion Dollars RARITY VALUE    US $49.99

$100 Billion Dollars Zimbabwe Bank Note USA Seller    US $1.00

5 x $100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars USA Seller    US $1.29

Zimbabwe $1 dollars NEW UNC Set of 10 Sequential notes    US $4.49

Zimbabwe $100 Billion Dollar Bank Note USA Seller    US $1.32

$50 BILLION ZIMBABWE DOLLARSLOOK NEW    US $11.00

$50 BILLION ZIMBABWE DOLLARSLOOKS NEW    US $9.00

$50 BILLION ZIMBABWE DOLLARS x2LOOKS NEW    US $15.00

ONE DOLLAR ZIMBABWE NOTEMINTUNC    US $30.00

$50 BILLION ZIMBABWE DOLLARSLOOKS NEWNO FOLDS CREASES    US $.99

5 x $100 Billion Zimbabwe Dollars USA Seller    US $.99

TEN TRILLION DOLLARS 100x Zimbabwe $100 BILLION DOLLARS    US $199.99

100 Set of $10 $25 Zimbabwe Dollar 2003 UNC Coins    US $499.99

Set of $10 $25 NEW Zimbabwe Dollar 2003 UNC Coins    US $9.99

Zimbabwe 20 Dollars 2007 2008 UNC NEW    US $4.90

Zimbabwe 500 Millions Dollars 2008 UNC NEW    US $4.99

Zimbabwe 2007 Going FAST CU 750000 Dollar Note Pnew    US $9.99

BRANDDOLLAR ZIMBABWE CD NEW    US $15.62

Zimbabwe 100 Billion Dollar 2008 UNC BIGGEST Denominati    US $9.99

Zimbabwe 25 Billion Dollar 2008 UNC NEW AA prefix    US $12.99

Zimbabwe 50 Billion Dollars 2008 UNC NEW    US $9.99

Zimbabwe 5 25 50 100 Billion Dollars 2008 UNC Full SET    US $34.90

Zimbabwe 250 Millions Dollars 2008 UNC NEW    US $6.99

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Bachelors live a different lifestyle than the rest of the world and part of that lifestyle involves overlooking some of the obvious things in life.  Especially when it comes to their own apartment (“pad” in bachelor speak), disorganized living conditions, and amazing cluelessness when it comes to feeding themselves.  Indeed, the bachelor is a unique breed who sometimes amazes us just by getting dressed in the morning - let alone managing to survive for any length of time.

Here are some tips I’ve learned from this unique culture.  You never know how much of a bachelor you are until you aren’t one anymore.  Luckily, that doesn’t apply to me so rest assured I am well informed about how ill-informed I am.  Thus, I am the perfect candidate for such tips and every word should be taken as the gospel truth.  For everyone who’s not a bachelor, you can probably skip over this since common sense says you’ll know these things already.

•The wet towel on the bathroom floor will encourage mold growth, and quick.  Although that’s only part of why it smells so funky, it’s a big part.  I’m not saying you have to take the leap of washing your towel more often, and you don’t have to break down and own more than one towel.  But if you take two seconds and hang the towel on the towel rack instead of leaving it on the floor, it’ll help keep that funky skunk at bay.  Bonus: This means you can go even longer without washing your towel.

•Sheets and blankets go a long way towards a good night’s sleep.  Now I didn’t say they have to be clean.  Just put something on your bed (prop the mattress up off the floor if you have to).  Come on, it’s time to upgrade to more than a single blanket already.

•Also invest in a good pillow and you’ll be well on your way to dreaming about Jessica Alba.  A rolled up coat (while a long kept secret of gypsy chiropractors) does not constitute an adequate headrest when sleeping.  You can’t underestimate the value of a good night sleep and most bachelors don’t even know they don’t know what one is.  Let’s fix this gastardly sentence and buy a pillow.

•When you have money for the laundromat, do an extra load of underwear.  When you don’t have money for the laundromat, at least you’ll have clean underwear.  Others will thank you for your foresight and while your clothes might smell like monkey butt, you’ll be just a little bit happier about it.

•Buy your beer, err, I mean soda in cans, not bottles.  Make sure to save your cans so you can recycle them and buy more be--soda.  And no, saving them is not the same as stacking empty cans on every flat surface in your pad.  Invest in a garbage bag to store them in if you have to.

•Next time you’re at the grocery store, walk through the Produce section.  It’ll probably be your first trip through this strange section of the store so you don’t have to buy anything the first time out.  But start making a habit of learning about the odd foods occupying this forbidding corner of the store.  Your health will thank you for it and it can be a nice break from frozen dinners.

Speaking of frozen dinners, mine’s ready now and Family Guy is on so I guess that’s all the tips for today.  Stay tuned as I post more ways for bachelors to improve their lives, but only a little bit.

I finally found it, the Rainbow Connection. Actually, it found me… It was in a gay bar in the far corner.

Thanks Kermit, I now know why you never got with Miss Piggy.

Ron Paul is the only political virgin in the U.S. Congress;
he's never screwed America.

Ok, this guy can't talk without mangling the English language.  Here are some of George W. Bush's more memorable Bushisms.

“I’m the commander — see, I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president."

“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.”

“As you know, these are open forums, you’re able to come and listen to what I have to say.”

“There’s no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world’s worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world’s worst weapons.”

“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.”

“I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep on the soil of a friend.”

“He has a little trouble with the English.”

“Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.”

“One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.”

“The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants.”

“I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.”

“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say: You, too, can be president of the United States.”

“Wow! Brazil is big.”

Mike Rowe is the host of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel and when he's not making poo jokes, he's often found saying the weirdest things at all the wrong times. I guess the "Hey Vern" phase wore off and now he just likes to play in manure while wondering what he got himself into.

Anyway, here's the latest offbeat quote from Mike Rowe:

"Why is my shirt off and why am I on another man who's lying on an alligator?"

Here's a little game I like to call “Who did it?”, where we take the actions of the presidents from two different countries and try to guess which bozo we're talking about.  In this edition we pit US President George W. Bush and Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe side by side.  Each action below was shamelessly accomplished by one of these presidents, your job is to figure out which one.  And since the price of everything is rising out of control, I'll quit wasting letters and cut right to the game...

This president lost the election but somehow remains in power anyway.

This president continues to enforce the same failed policies, despite huge disapproval ratings from the citizens.

The decisions of this president have cost the lives of thousands of citizens, and continues to destroy the livelihood of countless more.

This president's economic policies have thrown the country into turmoil and siphoned the wealth from the nation's people in short order.

This president will be remembered as the worst president in the country's history... blowing any previous contenders out of the water.  He wins this title, no contest.

This president does not care one bit that his actions have had adverse effects on millions of citizens... he's too busy vacationing and completing his personal agenda to be bothered with that stuff.

This president has run the country's printing presses non-stop, severely devaluing the nation's currency while promptly sending as many citizens as possible to the poor house.

This president has arrested and detained citizens from other countries without any good reason, claiming them to be enemies of the state.

This president is too stupid to realize just how awful he is.

Take a second and decide which president we're talking about...

If you guessed Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, you are correct!  Mugabe's a great guy, isn't he?

If you guessed US President George W. Bush, you are also correct!  President Bush is a shining example in his own little mind... but sadly the fantasy ends there.

Don't you love games where everyone wins?  Too bad having these morons in power means the victory won't last long.

Today the U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben “Behind the times” Bernanke, slapped Webster's Dictionary with a fourteen-trillion dollar ($2.50 Canadian) fine for using words he claims do not exist. One word in particular, “recession”, was highlighted in the 712 page decision handed down by Brain-dead Ben as “repulsive, foul, and quite frankly, unpossible”.

This is only the latest act in a nonstop bag of circus tricks used by the Federal Reserve and Treasury Secretary to convince the American public that there is no such thing as a recession. And if there was such a thing, it certainly can't happen to us. I mean, just look at all the money we're spending.

Bozo Ben also demanded that Webster Dictionary remove the words “hyper-inflation”, “stagflation”, and any references to logic and common sense.

When asked about his decision to remove long-standing words from the dictionary and punish dictionary publishers for their use, Mr. Bernanke set down his can of huffing paint and replied: “This is good for the American people... better than our Strong Dollar policy that has destroyed the U.S. currency. I don't see anything wrong... and now, neither will you.”

Not all people are convinced the Fed's latest tactics will work, but supporters praised the move. U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry “Hyper-Inflation” Paulson backed up Bernanke's decision by saying “Now you all believe me... you have to. There is no problem and even if there was, you can't point to it because the words no longer exist. I praise Mr. Bernanke's visionary methods for keeping with the traditions of the Federal Reserve in screwing the American public.”

President Bush was unavailable for comment as he was too busy playing leap-frog with Condoleezza Rice while planning his latest campaign of shock and awe.

In an unprecedented move, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice finally set the crack pipe down long enough to actually do something while in office. While we aren't sure what led to this sudden lapse in laziness, Rice was able to stand up on Tuesday and announce that Zimbabwe's President Mugabe was a "disgrace".

"This is a job well done." claimed President Bush in an impromptu news conference about the event. "It's politics in action, you know, like political and stuff. If she keeps this up, she could be the next president. Heck, I mean, she's already doing as good as me and I've been at this like five years or something.”

Word from the White House was not all praise and glory though. After the conference, President Bush met with President Mugabe to apologize for Rice's comments, and to ensure he could continue taking economic classes from the legendary king of corruption.

Bush's economic classes will continue, although it is not clear if they are working. While Zimbabwe enjoys 100,000% hyper-inflation and million-dollar toilet paper, President Bush and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben “Boombastic” Bernanke have only been able to devalue the US currency at about 20% annually.

“They're nowhere close to the Mugabe level.” claimed one insider. “At this rate, it'll be a couple years before the average American gets to enjoy the luxury of paying ten million bucks for a loaf of bread. But we're on the right track, and the current administration is working overtime to make sure we get there.”

President Bush also called for a moment of silence to honor Rice's new-found work ethic, as he slaughtered a baby seal in her honor.

When questioned about the recent events, Condoleezza Rice stated: “I'm saving up the letters in my name to sell to the Canadians. You'll see...”

After the commotion died down, Rice immediately took a month long vacation to Texas where she will play leap-frog with the President and go on an immigrant hunting expedition with Vice President Dick Cheney.

No other reports are available at this time.

I don't know why this picture makes me laugh but it does. Hopefully I am not the only one.