I love me some good seasonings.  They’re my favorite part of a balanced hobo diet.  Now, not everyone knows about the Good Four Seasonings™, but the dead dog does and he learned it to me in one night and two tacos.  We’re always learning about tacos.

So the four seasonings are white, green, red, and pepper.  You always know the pepper because your sneeze guard goes off.  That one’s easy – and painful.  Red can be painful too so save that one for makeshift gypsy repellent.  White and green vary depending on where you find them but the ones in little baggies are usually cursed.  You can find white seasoning packets at McDonalds or in small baggies on the streets or in parks.  McDonalds seasonings are good, and you can also get pepper there (don’t bring your sneeze guard).  But the little baggies in parks are cursed!  Every time I try white seasoning found in a baggie on the street, it messes up my racing underwear and makes my brain four-and-a-half times too big.  Same with the green seasoning baggies but those usually stay away from the racing underwear.  So it’s best to stick to fast food seasonings until you become a professional hobo.  Only pros can wear the racing underwear.

Once you have some seasonings, a good hobo meal is easy.  The only ingredient besides good seasonings is a can with some food in it.  That’s it!  That’s the secret!  You don’t even have to heat it up, just mix in some seasonings and then pretend it’s gourmet nachos.  Or sludge, I like to make seasoned sludge with a blender – that’s a good secret too.

Last night I had a can of crusty noodles, some old sticky cheese, and used chewing gum.   You’d think that wouldn’t work but the gum is never used too much and some good seasonings make anything good.  I even found a turnip to grate and squeeze in some extra juices.  It turned out really good, and the spices mean it’s gourmet so even the dead dog tried some (He’s on a gourmet diet where you don’t eat as much because the food is too expensive and tastes funny).

So now that you know about the four seasonings, please keep it a secret for at least a night and two tacos.  Any sooner and things get in jeopardy, lots of things, big things.   Thank you for understanding.

What a good day!