Last Tuesday, Barack Obama won the U.S. presidential election by a landslide, yet the stock market posted its worse two-day loss after an election in American history – dropping approximately 10%.  So what the heck happened?

It’s easy…  After the enthusiasm of a new president wore off, everyone realized we still have to deal with George Bush and his failed antics for another three months.  Luckily, Bush will most likely be on vacation, hopefully hunting with VP Dick Cheney, for the next three decades or so...  Or until Cheney mistakes Bush for a deer and shoots him repeatedly.

In other news, Americans showed their support for Obama and his policies by purchasing all the guns and ammo they can get their hands on.  Nothing says Americans have faith in their government like everyone rushing to stock up on automatic weapons and ammo after an election.  Especially when they’re already armed to the hilt and itching to mistake people for deer.

Maybe it’s because Vice President elect Joe Biden and his cronies have made clear their plans to take over Americans’ private retirement accounts, including ALL 401k’s and IRAs!  Sure, your money is safe in the hands of the government - especially when the government is bent on “spreading the wealth” by any means possible.  And don’t mind the fact they'll confiscate 50% of your wealth when you die and make it impossible for employers to match your retirement contributions… that’s just a technicality.

When asked about the confiscation of half of all American's wealth, Teressa Ghilarducci spoke on condition of anonymity, saying: "They'll be guaranteed 3% returns per year on the money we take from them" - which almost covers the "official" inflation rate of nearly 5%.
When pressed further, Ghilarducci said (again, speaking anonymously) "Of course, participants would not earn a real 3% return.  How's that for double-speak? But don't worry about it - It'll be managed by the Social Security Administration and you can see how well we've managed those funds so there's nothing to worry about."

It really is a good idea to let the government control your hard-earned cash.  Just ask Argentina… only a couple weeks ago, Argentina nationalized the citizens’ private retirement accounts, then promptly raided the ill-gotten money to pay their bills – causing Argentine pesos to lose 40% of their value in ONE DAY.  Yay!  Let’s hear it for spreading the wealth of the citizens into the hands of government!

The good news is that President Bush, in all his absentminded retardation, has set the bar so low that Obama will have an extremely hard time doing worse.  That pretty much assures us that President Obama will be great... by comparison anyway.