The numbers are in and Americans are voting early and in record numbers.  The main reason for so many early votes?  Everyone just wants the damn election to end already.  The Socialists have won, the word “friend” has been replaced with “comrade”, and congress has repeatedly given us the finger in order to bailout criminals with astronomical amounts of cash and free candy.  So who cares which puppet ends up in the White House – neither candidate will help the country and everyone just wants the crapfest to be done with.  It’s been going on for two years now, be done with it already!  That’s almost as long as President Bush’s last vacation.  Oh wait… maybe I’m thinking of Dick Cheney’s last hunting trip – George Bush has been on vacation for the last eight years (and on a mental vacation for much, much longer).

Whatever the case, Barack Hussein Obama will be the first black president of the United States that’s not really black.  Congratulations!  At least now we won’t be so surprised when the government steals Americans’ wealth from under their noses.

John McCain will go back to his crypt to sleep and recharge for another thousand years and Sarah Palin will return to the remote confines of Alaska to hunt and devour wild beasts with her bare hands.

So let’s vote, let’s vote quickly, and let’s be done with this lunatic carnival already.

In other news, it is rumored that the election season started so soon because Americans can’t wait to get Bush out of office.  This is a drastic change from the norm since most Americans generally spend enormous amounts of time trying to get bush in the office.

And for those of you who turned to page 57 as suggested in my previous post, turn to page 34 and wait for the bat signal.

How ‘bout them Mets?