Bachelors live a different lifestyle than the rest of the world and part of that lifestyle involves overlooking some of the obvious things in life.  Especially when it comes to their own apartment (“pad” in bachelor speak), disorganized living conditions, and amazing cluelessness when it comes to feeding themselves.  Indeed, the bachelor is a unique breed who sometimes amazes us just by getting dressed in the morning - let alone managing to survive for any length of time.

Here are some tips I’ve learned from this unique culture.  You never know how much of a bachelor you are until you aren’t one anymore.  Luckily, that doesn’t apply to me so rest assured I am well informed about how ill-informed I am.  Thus, I am the perfect candidate for such tips and every word should be taken as the gospel truth.  For everyone who’s not a bachelor, you can probably skip over this since common sense says you’ll know these things already.

•The wet towel on the bathroom floor will encourage mold growth, and quick.  Although that’s only part of why it smells so funky, it’s a big part.  I’m not saying you have to take the leap of washing your towel more often, and you don’t have to break down and own more than one towel.  But if you take two seconds and hang the towel on the towel rack instead of leaving it on the floor, it’ll help keep that funky skunk at bay.  Bonus: This means you can go even longer without washing your towel.

•Sheets and blankets go a long way towards a good night’s sleep.  Now I didn’t say they have to be clean.  Just put something on your bed (prop the mattress up off the floor if you have to).  Come on, it’s time to upgrade to more than a single blanket already.

•Also invest in a good pillow and you’ll be well on your way to dreaming about Jessica Alba.  A rolled up coat (while a long kept secret of gypsy chiropractors) does not constitute an adequate headrest when sleeping.  You can’t underestimate the value of a good night sleep and most bachelors don’t even know they don’t know what one is.  Let’s fix this gastardly sentence and buy a pillow.

•When you have money for the laundromat, do an extra load of underwear.  When you don’t have money for the laundromat, at least you’ll have clean underwear.  Others will thank you for your foresight and while your clothes might smell like monkey butt, you’ll be just a little bit happier about it.

•Buy your beer, err, I mean soda in cans, not bottles.  Make sure to save your cans so you can recycle them and buy more be--soda.  And no, saving them is not the same as stacking empty cans on every flat surface in your pad.  Invest in a garbage bag to store them in if you have to.

•Next time you’re at the grocery store, walk through the Produce section.  It’ll probably be your first trip through this strange section of the store so you don’t have to buy anything the first time out.  But start making a habit of learning about the odd foods occupying this forbidding corner of the store.  Your health will thank you for it and it can be a nice break from frozen dinners.

Speaking of frozen dinners, mine’s ready now and Family Guy is on so I guess that’s all the tips for today.  Stay tuned as I post more ways for bachelors to improve their lives, but only a little bit.