Hobo Newswire - (Two days old or so we're told)

Today brings some urgent news from the south Atlantic where Hurricane Octavio completely failed to make landfall.  Without threats of destruction, Octavio has missed the evening news circuit entirely and suffered immense financial damage as a result.  Hurricane Octavio currently lumes over the south Atlantic, threatening to end it all in a tropical storm fade-out or other similar agonizing death.

Although Octavio may be suffering financially, he still has a wife Mildred and two children (Milly and Vanilly) who love him and would suffer traumatically from Octavio’s early demise.  When asked about the impending fate of his father, Milly responded “I’m gonna fizzle and dad’s gonna fizzle.  Being a tornado, I’m gonna fizzle before my old man fizzles so let me get on with some destruction.”

It was not known if the son’s path of destruction has been finanically profitable for the family.  Although if it was, it may very well be the spark Octavio needs to change his mind and aspire to the destruction obtained by the greats.

This special report will not be followed up on and we really don’t care about what happens from here.