The Olympic games are under way and the hot topic has been performance enhancing drugs. Apparently steroids and human growth hormones are used by athletes from all countries these days in an effort to best their competition and grow spare body parts to extend their Olympic stay.

On Friday, North Korean shooter Kim Jong Su had his silver and bronze medals taken away after failing a doping test. Yes, apparently steroids make you a better shooter now, although your finger will no longer fit in the trigger guard and the chances of an accidental discharge increase significantly.

When asked about his disqualification and apparent drug use, Jong Su said, “I want to be best in world for shooting so I look at US of A and all gang bangers that shooting guns. They always get high and then go shooting, so I get high in order make shooting better for me. It make logical sense for Olympics and now I am good for shooting and gang banging. Not so good with small pee-pee and anger but that helps with shooting so what do you do?”

Experts say the benefits of “roid rage” aid shooters when pulling the trigger and guns seem more familiar to large insecure individuals with tiny pee-pees.

“The advantages of doping before a shooting event are huge.” Claims Harvard University graduate Bartholomew Smallfellow. “Most people think that steroids and human growth hormones help regular athletes in regular sports but Harvard studies prove they also help abnormal people in mundane Olympic events that don’t matter and nobody watches anyway.”

Still, some athletes like Barry Bonds question the effectiveness of doping before shooting events. “Sure, people who play real sports like myself use drugs” claimed Bonds. “We have to. I mean, have you ever sat through four hours of Baseball when the score is tied at one each? We don’t have a choice in that case but shooting? Well, maybe if his head grows as big as mine he could see the targets better but that’s a one in four shot.”

No other athletes were available for comment as they were either home beating their wives or stuck in the locker room measuring shrinkage.