Hobo Newswire
In another bold move of stupidity, presidential non-candidate Hillary Clinton once again changed her comments upon realizing she is offensive. After making remarks comparing herself and her presidential campaign to that of Robert Kennedy, Clinton waited the requisite two days for her brain to register the mistake then casually retracted the statement.

“What I meant to say” Hillary explained, “is that I was assassinated, and that my husband put those references in my head after it happened. But he has supported me the whole time, even after my assassination, and so I feel the reference is justified. If I mention my husband enough, I can get away with anything. I mean, he did so why can't I?”

When asked by a female Islamic journalist how she was still alive if she had been assassinated, Snobator Clinton attempted to cry and responded “You just don't understand how difficult it is to be a woman.”

Hobo Newswire tried to reach former president Bill Clinton for comment but calls to the Lewinsky residence went unanswered.