Phil’s Hobo Humor and Insights

Hobo humor, funny stories, and maybe something useful too.



Office Hobo - The Wonka-vator

April 22nd, 2007 by Phil Stewart

I found the “freight” elevator today. It carries people too. It's wicked bad, but only on Tuesdays.

The guys who use it are so cool, they don't even label the buttons or nothing. Almost like the buttons might change and they can't go through the trouble of replacing silly labels. Or maybe it's a Wonka elevator, that would be wicked bad too.

I tried for a long time to get important stuff done on the freight elevator but I got lost for twenty-two hours and couldn't figure out how to get un-lost. It happened before but I forgot about that time.
I did figure out how to get the elevator to go up and down though, so that was pretty cool. And when it went down, I could jump and I would grow a little bit higher than normal. At least I think so because when I hit the ground, it hurt my shoe. And worse than the last time.

Maybe I need to play basketball in an elevator going down. I'll bet I could be really good because of my high growing abilities and hammer time. Maybe even better than in the dead dog's dreams. And I'm really good in those!

It was a good day but I think I'll leave more exploration of the freight elevator for another time. I've about run out of sauce packets and I need to recharge my super powers.

What a good day!

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