Well it's that time again – Time for the first ever Hobo Humor, Funny Stories, and Jokes Carnival. The first issue features some great stories, humor, and a surprise announcement from Stinky Hobo and his dead dog.
I have recently been informed that there is an international shortage of web colors and some fonts and letters have even made the endangered species list. This shortage is believed to have been caused by several mis-informed countries thinking there was an abundance of vowels when indeed, there is not. It is because of this that I couldn't include every submission in this first issue. We have to conserve for others. Plus, my boss thinks the web is running out of the color blue, and we don't want to anger my employer.
Some of the posts that didn't make it into this issue include MacGyver's Guide to Affordable In-Home Laser Eye Surgery, the Mongolian Dirt-Eating Tree Frog – Deathmatch Edition, and Little Timmy's Experiment with Radioactive Fungal Extracts. I am also disappointed that we won't be discussing Donald Trump's tirade about the newly congealed continent called Rosie O'Donnell. In any case, we will be covering something, so here it is...

Dana presents Jolly Old St. Nicholas posted at Principled Discovery, saying, "not sure if this fits, but it is a satirical look at Santa. And his elves. Some of the links are admittedly more humorous, but I couldn't very well just copy them."
Office Hobo replies: Don't worry, I copied the links for you, they are stored on my typewriter next to the unmentionables. I also wrote some notes on Santa and his elves. Thanks for the new info on his conspiracy theories and interest in being a psychic. I have a job for psychics, they know where to apply.

Funny Stories

Rich Peluso presents How Much Farter To Dallas? posted at DigitalRichDaily, saying, "How to mask bad wind at 30k feet"
Cracky McBling says: Crop Dusting is a great skill to learn. I teach classes on it, talk to Stinky if you are interested. When you Crop Dust, you need to learn proper methods for masking the origination of your station. Check out the link for important information about hiding invisible poop on an airplane.

Other Stuff

Chris Dolley presents Gloomy Sunday - The Legend of the Most Dangerous Song in the World posted at Author Chris Dolley's Page.
Stinky Hobo says: Don't tell my dead dog about this song.

Satire

Mister Juggles presents The OJ Simpson Corollary posted at Long or Short Capital.
Stinky Hobo says: There is some good stuff in here about 90% of movies and bribing Osama Bin Laden with macaroni and cheese. And now my dead dog wants a coke.

Stinky Hobo Announcement
My dead dog had puppies today! I don't know how it happened because I didn't think that was possible. I thought he was a guy and guys don't have puppies. Well... I didn't think they did, but it happened anyway. I better re-think my thinking.

So now I've got a whole bunch of little puppies to take care of. But I think the dead dog's evil foot transferred osmosically to one of the puppies. I better keep that puppy in my pocket so he doesn't get into trouble. He was already stealing cheetos like the evil foot did. But the only thing to steal in my pocket are some old smells I was saving but forgot about. I guess the evil puppy can have them if it keeps him out of trouble.

I have been busy taking care of the puppies, feeding them and hosing them down. I got one addicted to sauce packets already. I'm going to make a good Uncle. Maybe I could be “Uncle Hobo”, or maybe “Stinky McFinkster”. I'll have to ask the puppies.

What a good day!

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Hobo Humor, Funny Stories, and Jokes using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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