I got bored today so I grew a beard.  It's wicked bad, but only on one side.  The other side is, well, I won't talk about the other side.  Not after last tim
e.

Does anyone want to buy my beard?  I'll sell it for real cheap cuz I've been hurting for the nachos.  I'm always hurting for the nachos and gravy!

I've been trying to sell my beard so I can grow another one since I haven't figured out how to grow two beards at once.  Maybe I can get the dead dog in on this, he might know.  But if you buy my beard, please promise not to tell the dead dog.  He'd get jealous.  Especially since I used some of his fur to patch in my beard.  You would never know!

Or you could just tell me how to grow two beards at once.  I tried but the second one keeps growing on the first and it ends up real messy.  Everything I do ends up messy, except that one time when I tried to make a mess.  If you don't remember that one, you will sooner or later.  Everyone remembers that one except me.

I also need to know how to make the dead dog's beard grow faster.  His quit growing after he died.  I cut some off for my beard but that didn't make it grow back and Great Clips won't give him any more hair cuts.  They say it weirds out the other customers and they no longer accept tacos or dead pigeons as payment.  I might have to talk to Cracky on this one.  He's always got solutions for my beard problems.  It'll cost me though and I'm all out of nachos.

What a good day!