Here is the latest from the Office Hobo:

Office Hobo - Making Deals

I started making deals on my new phone today. I don't know what they were, but they were good. Then I did some calculations on my typewriter and printed a few unmentionables to look busy and it was time for lunch again (after an extra long potty break). What a good job!

My boss doesn't like me that much. He does, but I get the shifty eye a lot. And it's not a good shifty eye either, it's the bad one. The bad, stinky type of shifty eye that likes to unplug typewriters from the network. Then I can't print my unmentionables!

Later, I found that I can entertain people by making noises with my body parts. They make lots of noise and I do happy dances while making body part sounds to keep everyone happy. It's really fun and there is not too much anger. When there is too much anger, I have different body parts to make noises. I will grow body parts if I have to! It is my goal to keep everyone happy so we can work better. Except the shifty eye, he can stay at home and eat cheetos.

What a good day!

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I got bored so I took a spool of wire and made this.  It's a glove.  I coiled, cut, and linked every loop on this thing by hand.  Yes, it's a lot of work and no, I'm not right in the head.

It is a common myth that a computer power supply will not fit into an empty popcan. The legend goes that whoever shall attempt such a feat will lose all their fingers, start babbling in Mandarin Chinese, and immediately go insane. That last claim is tough to verify since it is also believed that anyone who attempts such a feat is already insane.So, to prove everyone wrong, or right, or maybe to prove nothing at all, I'm going to fit a computer power supply into a popcan... through the small drinking hole in the top of the can... without damaging it. The can, that is, I won't damage the can... I'm gonna beat the crap outta that power supply.

The goal is to fit the object on the left into the object on the right. Sounds simple enough.

This just lets us know that there is a killer inside and it's ok to do this after we have eaten or while high.

Powerman is here to help us! Or kill us.

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I just ran across an interesting search result from Google.  It turns out that a Google search for "miserable failure" returns the Official Homepage of US President George W. Bush as the first result.  Good ol' Dubya!

Now why do you suppose that is?  I wouldn't think anyone working on a government website would optimize their webpages to rank high for the term "miserable failure".  Or would they?  No, the answer is much more devious, and much more interesting.  It turns out this is the result of a Google bomb.

Check out the article for an interesting read.

After the successful launch of the first Stinky Hobo Book, a new character has magically appeared. Dubbed "The Office Hobo", he's sure to do something about nothing. So here's the first story in a potentially long, or short, Office Hobo series.

The Office Hobo

So I started my new job today. It's really cool, like not quite Wicked Bad (tm), but almost. I sit around in a big building that has windows to look out of and everything. It's a good job!

There's only one problem. I think someone is messing with me. Like really bad, but good. My typewriter keeps having problems and it's been loading webpages slowly all of the sudden. It did not happen before! So I have to look busy and deal with that too. I don't want to get fired already.

I went around earlier and helped everyone with their lunches. It was fun. I have all sorts of extra sauce packets in my pockets and keep finding more so I made sure everyone had tasty flavors to go with their food. Like special, tasty flavors. I invent them myself. Sometimes they invent themselves in my pockets. It's lots of fun!

After that, I had more problems with my typewriter because someone unplugged the network connection. It's ok if they needed it but please, plug it back in. There's important stuff on there!

I wanted to make some calls and do some deals but I don't have a phone yet. Maybe I can work on that tomorrow. What a good day!

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What follows are the gruesome images and horrifying details of a crime so vulgar and insane, it must be real. We have obtained photographic evidence and accompanying footnotes of the two month torture and disfigurement of "Monkey", my dog's favorite stuffed animal. Although the perpetrator remains at large, it is suspected that Monkey was tortured over time, as to prolong his life as a furry punting device. It goes to show you the lengths some animals are willing to go to in order to preserve their play toys while still feeding the urge to chew on inedible objects. No suspects have ever been arrested in this case.

Pictures follow:

"I'm Monkey. Wanna be my friend?"

"Lookie what I can do!"

"E.T. phone home."

"Wee!! Dain Bramage is FUN!"

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Well, it's picture day today so I dug up a good image to post. Why is it picture day? Because I have a picture to post.

Now that's what I call a Dandelion!! I just woke up one day and there it was. The thing was growing 6-8 inches PER DAY at one point and it quickly outgrew itself and began to fall over from the weight. At it's height, this thing was over six feet tall, with a stalk over an inch in diameter. The leaves at the base were a good 14-18 inches long and 6 inches wide. This thing was a monster.

Just for clarification, the fuzz at the bottom of the picture is my dog's tail, NOT a furby coming to steal the dandelion. I do not know where the rest of my dog was at the time of this image.